my blind-date introduction

hi.

let me introduce myself.

my name is Alisa. I am a 30 something gal, and I have all sorts of labels: engineer (currently unemployed), fairly self-empowered woman, mom (currently stay-at-home), wife, all kinds of relation, friend. skier, swimmer, at times triathlete, singer, reader, sometimes traveler. you get the picture, I'm many things. just as you all are many things.

I also have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder type II and for many years that's been a perhaps self-imposed primary label. I have another blog that I wrote for the last several years, mostly about my mental health stuff. but I've been wondering if I need to move on from that label and embrace more that I am many things. I am not defined by any one label though it's ok that I sometimes have been.

I've had to focus on my health a ton over the last few years- quit my job, tried new meds and new treatments, went through electro-convulsive therapy for over a year, got myself a re-diagnosis and new meds, did an outpatient group therapy program, re-found the benefits of exercise on my mental health, and found stability (mostly, or somewhat, not sure really). it's been exhausting, but it's brought me closer to normality (hah, whatever that means).

(side note- I'm working to redefine what "normal" is, my current favorite is "range of comfortable" or maybe "range of manageable" would be better).

anyway, I don't actually want to spend all my time on mental health discussion, although I do have plenty of strong and not as strong opinions about those and related topics, and I'm sure they will come up at times, but I'm working to find a newer theme in this blog.

the name I've chosen- shine on you crazy diamond- is, as you Pink Floyd fans know, the name of a song with those words being the prominent repeated lyrics. it's been a favorite of mine for awhile and it feels very powerful. for me the song is a reminder to allow myself to shine through and along with all the crazies.

so my best guess for this blog is that it will be about just that - shining through in life along with the crazies. (I hope I can safely call it crazies without giving anyone offense because I'm recognizing that I have lots of them. we all do. perhaps it's time to embrace them).